I'm WILD about hockey, eh? Eh? *Elbows* (Jets @ Wild 10/10/2013)

Okay that was a lame joke, but I attended a Wild game last night vs the Winnipeg Jets! It was my first hockey game of the year, and I am sure it is far from my last! My awesome-o work partner Jerry is a Wild fan from Minnesota so it was his suggestion we go. Oh how well he knows me!

I have both a Wild thermal shirt and a Jets tee from my vast collection of souvenir tees from all of the arena's I've seen. I ended up wearing the Wild tee since it was cold as balls, but I topped it off with my Canucks jersey. Can't go to a game without wearing my jerseys. :)

The arena was very nice and we only paid $17 on stubhub for some gnarly seats. I was impressed with the turnout on a weekday: it's clear Minnesota gives a hoot about hockey. A lot of Jets fans were present as well, supporting in a lot of vintage Jets jerseys from ze 70's. There was a bus outside afterwards called Beaver Lines, something tells me that was how the Jets fans traveled.

It wasn't the greatest game because of so many missed passes and bad puck handling, but I was just happy to see hockey! It could have been worse- it could have been any of the Rangers games this year. I was hoping the Jets would get a goal to tie it because I love shootouts, but the game ended 2-1 Wild. I look like crap in the pic of me, don't judge! It was a super early day with a flight from Dallas to MSP.

Canucks and The Devils

Watching this Canucks and Devils game has been hard because I honestly don't know who I want to win. Obviously I am a Canucks fan, but it's so hard to see poor Cory all nervous. I think he needs this more than the city of Vancouver needs it. I'm still so pissed about the trade. I'm also pissed about that little fucker Brunner for going to NJ when he could have stayed with the Wings. NJ and I are watching the game at the bar where we got to open up our action figures that I ordered. A Burrows for her, a Schneider for me. I also took this photo for hopes of giggles online. I hope no one photoshops a cock in my mouth!

Bruins Hockey!

So I got to Uxbridge, Massachusetts with plenty o’ time to catch my train in Providence. And then I called the cab and they were like, “What? You’re a MILE into the state of MA?? Nope, we can’t pick you up, go fuck yourself.” Not literally, but they did say that in a sense. How fucking lame! I ended up getting a ride with one of the employees, nice lady who told me about her husband’s death last year, all the way to Providence. It was a tad awkward but I felt bad for her, she even had his photo on her dashboard. I can’t imagine losing someone like that, so I certainly hope she is okay. I offered to pay her but she refused, how kind. :) I had missed my 2:19pm train so I splurged and took the Business Class Acela Express to Boston. Man that train was suave! Too bad it was such a short ride, but no complaints! I had to get to the TD Garden asap! As soon as I got out of South Station, I jetted in a cab over and snapped pics galore. I was mildly annoyed at the train station factor in the arena because it made my visit look like a joke and not a hockey experience, but I managed to get pics without being photobombed too badly. I was disappointed with the selection of shirts, but found one that works. If only I had the boobs to fill it out. That being said, I was totally disappointed with how rude and douchey the cashier was. MAN, he could not have been a bigger dick. I come up to the counter all smiles and he just gives me this “SHUT UP” look and says not a word to me. A sour attitude the entire time, he looks like he’s about to strangle me for wasting his time. What a bad way to leave the arena, feeling like that. Afterwards I took to the city streets, perusing everything I could walk to before I had to get my luggage out of storage at 8pm. I also called out “CORY SCHNEIDER” the entire time, hoping he’d magically appear. I didn’t see enough but that’s okay, I’m sure I’ll be back. I took the silver line to Boston Logan (where I am now), then went terminal hopping before I settled on sleeping at Terminal E. It’s like 5am, so aka I didn’t get much or any sleep. Guess I’ll just sleep at the flight. I would have gotten a hotel, but apparently if you aren’t born with a silver spoon up your ass, you can’t afford to stay anywhere near this airport.

Senators Hockey!

As soon as I flew back to Minneapolis, I was back out on the road for Ontario. I wanted to stop in Detroit and see the fam but alas there was no time. Okay, that’s not true. The truth is, there was no way in fuck I was going to drive a brand new Mercedez Benz 26 foot motorhome through my grandma’s neighborhood in the city of Detroit. I already know I’ll be there 15 min before some ghetto retard shows up trying to jump me, steal the appliances (I wouldn’t put it past them to steal the vehicle too) and kill me and my family in the process. So thanks ghetto “gangsta” fuckers, you are the reason I couldn’t see my family! One day I will rid Detroit of you parasites, I promise. I got to Ottawa late Sunday night and camped out at the Walmart on Strandherd. It’s funny, I was woken up by a minivan full of Indian children running around and screaming at 7am. I see a correlation here. Indians are to Canada what Mexicans are to the USA. I don’t want to hear any “OMG You’re a racist! WAH!!” bullshit because guess what? I’m Mexican, and I’m sick of the rabid overkill on kids too. Obviously, I never wants kids. I drove on over to the Scotiabank Place, now titled the Canadian Tire Centre in the RV and found plenty of parking. The place didn’t have a sign since of the name change, but I got plenty of pictures and enjoyed the Sens Store. The cashier was so friendly, she even let me take a peak of the ice! Afterwards I took a quick ride through downtown hoping to see Parliament Hill (I didn’t :( ) and then took Queen Elizabeth all the way to my delivery. And then I got told the delivery address was wrong and that I had to go 20 minutes south. AKA, I was no longer conveniently across the street from the airport. What luck! Thankfully after talking to the employees I managed to get a lift back. I couldn’t believe how small the Ottawa MacDonald Airport was, but it was a breeze to get through. A short layover in my lovely Detroit Metro and I was back to work in Minneapolis again. I have officially seen all the Canadian hockey arenas!

Montreal!

So it’s been just about a week and a half and I’ve done three delivers. Even better, it means I’ve knocked out three hockey arenas! My list of seeing all 30 is even shorter now! (Post for Ottawa and Boston to follow) 1. Philadelphia Flyers 2. Washington Capitals 3. Carolina Hurricanes 4. Florida Panthers Montreal was quite beautiful and fun despite being on total edge of not understanding French! I got lost thanks to that cunt SIRI and got sent through downtown Montreal during rush hour traffic, in a 42 foot diesel no less. I am lucky I remembered that Oest and Est were West and East. After delivery I took a $20 cab to Saint Julie, then took the 600 bus to downtown. From there I stayed at the hostel, L’Auberge A’pero. I finally figured out I was pronouncing Auberge wrong, apparently it’s AOOWWWBEEEHHHRRRGGGGEEE. Fucking French. I went straight to Centre Bell, first taking pics before going to the Habs Zone, and then off to La Cage Aux Sports, aka the Canadiens themed restaurant. Pics! Afterwards I went for a walk downtown, checking out Cresent street and a little shopping district. I even met this dude in a Canucks jersey! He told me he got a Cory jersey on sale for $40 at a store that was closed for the day. I didn’t get to stay out too late as I had an early flight at Pierre Elliot Trudeau Aerport. It was quite the little adventure with a 3 hour layover in Philly.

Vanessa and The Jets! Winnipeg, that is.

In my defense, it’s hard to update a blog as a trucker! My next run was to Providence, Rhode Island area. I wanted to run up to Boston to check out the TD Garden as I have yet to see, but it would have cost me too much extra and ruined my schedule for my next run. My next run was phenomenal, I went too…Grande Prairie..ALBERTA! That’s right, a 2100 mile drive, going past Edmonton and into the farthest northern spot I’ve ever been. Moose signs a-plenty, it was Canada heaven for almost a week. I went in via Portal, North Dakota, enjoying Saskatchewan and up to Edmonton in two days. I was in search of Albert and Claude Moose, two more dolls I wanted wearing an Oilers and Flames jersey. I had last seen them a year ago at the Flying J in Saskatoon. Naturally when I got there and saw they were no longer in stock, I cried over my Denny’s pancakes and apologized to Pierre for not being able to locate his brothers. So you could imagine my shock and glee when I entered the Flying J in Sherwood Park (a suburb of Edmonton) and found Claude the Flames moose. Unfortunately, they were all sold out of Albert. At any rate, I’m so happy to welcome this new moose in to the family. Afterwards I got to explore Alberta 43 into the gorgeousness of the northern prairies. I didn’t get to explore Grande Prairie as I was scheduled to ride the 5pm greyhound back to Edmonton, but it was a far larger city than I expected. Aftewards, I met with my tow partner Jerry at the Greyhound and we made it into Innesboro for the evening. The next day, I got to stop at the Lloydmister Mall where I got my Canucks jersey. They said they had a Cory sale and everything was sold out. :( They did carry XS Oilers jerseys, which further proved my point that the NHL is full of shit when they say, “we don’t make XS jerseys!”. I got myself a baby doll Oilers tee since I never got to see their team store. We also stopped in Yorton, SK where I got to meet an online friend, a fellow Queens of the Stone Age lover. It was so nice to surprise someone like that, and to meet someone I’d known for two years. Okay, maybe I’m nuts? We got to the Flying J of Winnipeg for the evening camp out, leaving me disappointed to find they only had Jets bears, I guess they don’t like moose around there. The next morning we went straight to downtown Winnipeg and I got to see the MTS Center for the first time! That area, Assinaboine, I thought it was pronounced ASS-IN-BONE, so naturally I had a good American laugh. At the team store, I got a Bogosian tee and almost caved into a gorgeous XS Jets jersey and jacket, but my inner jewness reminded me not to waste money. I snapped lots of pics before we went back to the car to find….it gone. We had been towed by the city! They said we parked too close to the bus stop. A bus stop that was behind a parking meter, the one that we parked like 5 feet in front of. Luckily getting the car back was only $100, so we split it. But we still plan to fight the city. Friendly Manitoba my ass! Alas, I will not let this poopstain my opinion of the Jets! I wanted something of the Manitoba Moose but I found nothing. I would especially like the Cory Schneider bobblehead, but I’m sure that would end with me in the ER because I would accidentally fall with my legs spread out and Cory’s head winds up lodged in my vagina. Hockey season is almost here, I can feel it!

My Cory Schneider Got Married

Cory Schneider got married on July 26 in Cape Cod. My heart shed a few tears that day. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself and I feel like seeing my hockey babe getting married was just a further reminder that my life is going nowhere. I’m still desperate to sell my ginger romance novel and get my comedy career underway, but I don’t have good luck in anything. I wonder what other Canucks were there. Not gonna lie, I was nosy and googled “Cory Schneider wedding”. If you were nosy, you also saw the page his lady made featuring the details and the registries. I may have gotten a gift for them anonymously…. don’t worry, it was cheap. I’m not a baller like Cory.

Times Forum Arena

Oh and we stopped by the beach too! The Tampa Bay arena was freaking awesome, namely because it looks like people actually care about hockey in Tampa. In fact, I accidentally found the town's hockey bar, Hat Tricks, which was fairly close to the arena. They had some neato jerseys and all things Lightning of course. Afterwards I had a beer downtown but didn't experience much. It was raining, surprise, and I didn't know what to look for. The next day, I stopped by the arena and got my hands on some cool tees for $10 each. The Tampa bay store was about double the size of the Flames store. Odd, no? I enjoyed myself on the beach a little before hopping on a flight that went through limbo. AKA I slept at the airport and got to enjoy the floor below a chair and listen to the nice recording of the shuttle message opening every three minutes. I was indeed a grumpy gus the next day where I had to haul buns to catch up. My next run was to Canton, Ohio. Nothing cool about it. I ran with a coworker to save expenses, eventually getting back to Minneapolis on another run.

Tampa Bay!

Wahoo I got a St. Louis Blues shirt at the airport, it's basically the exact same shirt as my Calgary Flames shirt. I don't mind because I like that shirt a lot, a non ridiculous pink shirt with rhinestones or whatever bullshit they think women fan's want. I swear, it's a circus trying to find a decent looking/fitting women's hockey shirt. I mentally made a note of all of the teams in which I have a souvenir shirt of. Detroit Chicago St. Louis Anaheim Los Angeles Vancouver Minnesota Calary Ottawa New York R. Pittsburgh Washington Okay, so I haven't been to Washington or Ottawa, but the shirts looked cool as fuck and I couldn't resist. I'm on my way to Iowa by way of Chicago Midway for my next run to Fort Myers, Florida. I've never been there before so I don't know what to expect, but I'm just happy to finally do a run that isn't to the west coast. I needed a game changer. The flight back to Minneapolis was far cheaper out of Tampa so I got a rental car for the day. I'm exicted to see the Tampa Bay Lightning arena as it was an arena I never expected to see any time soon.I wish I could run into Steve Yzerman! Afterwards I have no idea, but I do know that I'm going to run hard for the next three weeks. It's almost time for my annual birthday trip across Texas and so I want to be comfortable enough to take a week off and still have the $ to have fun. I'm hoping I can get a run to Vancouver since obviously, I want to load up on the Cory Schneider sale! That reminds me, I found a Cory Schneider action figure due out in August. I can already tell bad things will happen. Vanessa

Post Dated Back When This Shit happened.

I cannot even believe my Cory Schneider got traded to fucking New Jersey. I am gonna go die now.

Three Weeks of Updates in One Little Post

Well shit on me, I haven’t updated in some time. I guess that’s because I’m an idiot who decided to overbook myself with work that all fell apart at some time. Here is a good summary of what has happened sense:

 

Montreal, QC.

What fun! I got to stop in Detroit and take my grammy and aunt Eva to a Red Wings game. It was such an honour to take my grandmother to a Red Wings game, because she loves the hell out of them. I guess you could say she is the reason I am a Red Wings fan. They won too, and as you know, make the playoffs! That was a close one, phew!

Montreal is interesting, because I don’t know a lick of French. The Couche-Tard gas station made me laugh my fucking ass off. HAHA. I didn’t get to see the Centre Bell, as I was out of time.

I take the train down to my apartment in Beacon, NY and visit the ole ball and chain, my ginger man Marshall. Then I fly out to Minneapolis and fetch my next trip.

San Diego, CA.

Freak snow storm in MAY in Colorado. Highway is shut down. I get stranded in Denver waiting for the highways to reopen. Because of this, I have to wake up at 4am two days in row to make devliery on time. San Diego is nice, I find a VANCOUVER CANUCKS HOCKEY BAR! Watched them lose game 2, unforunately.

Orange County, CA.

RV breaks down in Denver. I am taken off the run, with no way out. I am told there is an RV in Las Vegas needing to be taken an hour south of Calgary, AB. So, I get a rental car and haul ass. Along the way, I stop at the Arches National Park in Moab, Utah. Got some great photos and saw such gorgeous structures. Too bad I didn’t have much time, so I have to move quick and don’t see everything I wanted to see. I haul ass going 80mph to Vegas, and drop off the rental car in the nick of time before they charge me for day number two. Yup, I’m a cheap ass.

High River, AB.

I get my RV and camp out for the night at the Orleans Hotel and Casino which allows overnight parking for large vehicles. I watch in horror as my Vancouver Canucks get swept by the San Jose Sharks. And sadly enough, even in Vegas, someone shows up at the last 3 minutes of the game to heckle me. This fat ass mesh tank top wearing motherfucker. What a cunt. I still love you, Canucks.

I head out the next day for High River, Alberta. I’ve never gotten to see most of I-15, so I’m on my toes in excitement at new lands. I stay in Ogden, UT and Great Falls, MT, then make delivery Friday. Catch the shuttle to Calgary, and hang out at Craft Beer Bar downtown to watch my Red Wings steal game 6 and force the game 7 that I predicted! A guy that looks like James Van Der Beak hits on me, haha. He was nice but I had a date with the airport for my nap. I find a Calgary Flames Team Store at the airport, but it’s closed. So, I snap some photos and cozy up on a seat for bed. Also, I saw the Scotiabank Saddledome from afar. I have too much luggage to walk up there and snap pics.

Wake up at 4:30am, and here I am now on a flight to Dallas. I’m so excited about the Red Wings game 7 tomorrow. I’m heading to Des Moines on Monday, then Coquitlan, BC on Tuesday.  Also, please welcome Moose #2, Jacques Moose! I picked him up at the Flying J in London ON, where I purchased Pierre Moose.

Vanessa X.

 

The Vancouver trip...

Back in March Vanessa and I took a little trip to Vancouver to see our Canucks on home ice!

It was Cory's birthday and as the fates would have it tickets were very cheap and my boss gave me the time off. It all came together so someone wanted us to go. I brought the tickets from Stub Hub, Vanessa paid for my flight into Seattle, I had to rent the car cause Vanessa got held up waiting for her RV.

I woke up at 3AM after the worst Red Wings game on home ice. Got on my plane that God the power was down at Southwest or I would have missed it. Got into Seattle I was wearing my jersey the whole flight and when the plane landed a guy who saw me go to the restroom asked, "Who signed your jersey?" I replied, "The only 2 I would let sign my jersey! Luongo and Burrows!" He said, "How cool!"
I got on the shuttle to go get my rental car and meant a nice Canucks fan bus driver who also loved my jersey! Loving WA so far eh! Then I went to check on the rental car and the guy who worked for the company looked a lot like Lu! Of course I had to flirt with him and see if he was a hockey fan. Turns out he hated Canada and hockey but was from Houston... So much for a match made in heaven eh!?!?!

I went to grab some vegan food and check out the vegan block in Seattle and of course grab a vegan donut. I talked to a few local vegans which was nice but I wanted to get to Canada ASAP so to the road I went.

When I finally got to the border (which seemed to take years!). I was asked "Why are you in Canada?" I smiled and replied, "I'M GOING TO A CANUCKS GAME!! MY FIRST CANUCKS GAME!" he looked at me like I was crazy took my passport and told me he had to run it through the system. After being searched, and integrated for about an hour and a half, and all the Canucks stores were closed! I was finally free to go! I have been through a lot of integration in my lifetime but that one was the worst! I should have told them my 2 Canadian cousins were lawyers, LOL!

On to getting lost in Langely and waiting for V! I stopped at a Safeway to get BeaverBuzz while I waited! It was on sale 3 for $5. I talked to the cashier who told me, "You are just so cute in your hoodie and mitts!" I smiled and was hit on my a 20 something year old while walking out. I love Canadians!

Finally met up with Vanessa and we tried to sleep! We were too excited to sleep, but somehow we got a few hours. I woke up at 6AM cause I get up early to run in the US all the time. Vanessa was still sleep so I let her sleep and went to Starbucks. Got a little wifi and was back to the RV to see if Vanessa was up. She was and we went to deliver her RV so we could be on to Vancouver!

I was afraid I was going to get Vanessa in trouble so I kept my distance while they checked out her RV. The Red Wings fan that V was talking to can up to me and said, "Where is your Luongo jersey?" I laughed and said, "It's in the car... I'll put it on!" I did and talked to him a bit. Then we went inside and talked to the cute Flames fan for a bit. he was nice and got us directions to our hotel. Vancouver here we come!

You know you're in Vancouver when... You see blue and green everywhere!

 First stop was the hotel, and then the arena! I met the lovely Shauni from Twitter and she was happy cause she just met a few Canucks. We just missed Burrows driving off! I got a picture of his car but out of respect to him I will not post it.  On to the Roger Neilson statue! I love the store and the towel power! It met so much to see it in person!

On we went to our first Canucks store! We ran around acting look crazy goobers looked at all the great Canucks stuff! But we didn't want to buy anything until we got to the outlet!

Come on in!!!

Look Njeri it's a Schneider jersey that doesn't fit me yet again!...

Burrows tee that I wish I brought!

Lu and Burrows stuff!!

Look at all the guys shirts! WTF?!?!

LUONGO!!!

OMG it's Alex Burrows!

Luie Lu you never looked better!

Place Hockey du Canada! Je Adore!!!!

What no over sized Cory poster?...

Next we went to the outlet and I got a Luongo shirt and Vanessa get a really cut Canucks long sleeved shirt. I tried on the XL Burrows jersey but it was too dirty to pay full price for it.


On to the game we went! There is no warm-up like a home ice warm up! So much fun to watch! I think I teared up a bit when I saw Luongo get his home ice start. And when we were looking for our seats we told this guy that we had to crawl over, "We're sorry it's our first time here." he replied, "That's cool!" he looked at me and smiled and said, "Sick jersey!" I smiled so happy someone was a Luongo fan and said, "Thank you!"

We don't know if Cory saw it...

 Thanks to the border I missed my flight! I called my boss and explained, had more yummy vegan food, and found a bar to watch the game. Low and behold there were Canucks fans there! from Vancouver and on their way to LA and PHX for a hockey tour! The BF of the girl gave me his scarf and said we can stay with them anytime! Canucks fans are the best!

View from the street near the bar.